After turning in my notice 10 weeks ago, I walked out of the office for the last time. And I was sad. I've never been one for work. You can see past posts here and here and here about how I really feel about a career life. But as I walked out of the best job that I have ever had, I wondered to myself, is this really what I wanted?

I quit my job to be a stay-at-home foster mom. Well if you've been keep up on your reading, then you'll know that this foster mom thing isn't necessarily a dream come true. So quitting my nearly perfect job to become full time at a not so perfect job is, well, much less than perfect. But I didn't really have a choice when working full time just wasn't working for me. (Props to all you moms who work at all, I have no idea how you do it and still take care of a home and kids.)

But I can't help feeling the pressure suddenly lifted. I've been spending so much of my home time working that when I'm at home and not working, I feel guilty. The curse of working from home. But it's impossible to be a full time employee when you can't really go into the office because you have three kids in school (one of which is in half-day Kindergarten) and simply, when your heart just isn't into it.

My biggest fear is what is it that my heart is into these days? Besides my super hot husband of course. I don't want to be at work, yet I seem to not want to be a mother. So I'm not quite sure where my heart is. Or my head for that matter. By the way, it's super fun to be 28 years old and still have no clue what you are doing with your life. *sarcasm*

1 comment :

  1. I love this post. I relate to everything you said. I'm also not a career person (I hate my job even though there are a lot of really great things about it) and I'm married, 30 years old, and have no kids and probably won't have any.It's a weird place to be.