I Don't Want To Be Remembered.

They all say, "But they'll remember you".
But that isn't what matters to me.
You see yesterday, we were in for the biggest shock of this foster care experience.
After 9 months of these kids being in our home.
After all the kin saying that they just couldn't take them.
Suddenly, Grandma and Grandpa have decided that they want the kids.
Which is just a joke, if you knew these people.

I've spent the last 9 months teaching them that they actually do need to brush their teeth.
That wiping your bum when you go potty is important.
And that you put the toilet paper in the toilet, not in the garbage can. (It's that third world country mindset, because Grandma and Grandpa aren't American.)
And you wash your hands. Frequently. Including after you use the bathroom.
That you don't curse.
That you should be saving for college.
All things that they have had to learn since being here, because grandma and grandpa have taught them otherwise.

We took kids out of a hopeless situation.
We put them in a hopeful situation.
And now, we send them back to a hopeless situation.
Because apparently that's the kind of future that the state of Utah wants these kids to have.

So Grandma and Grandpa don't speak English.
And the five year old is learning to read.
Who is going to help them with their homework?

So Grandma and Grandpa don't have a car, and can't drive anyway.
I sure hope that the kids never, ever get sick, because no one will be able to take them to the doctor.
Relying on the bus system may be fine for your weekly grocery shopping, but sudden things happen when you have kids and you have to be able to take care of them.

Grandpa is in a walker. He can hardly function as it is.
That was one of the main reason's they wouldn't take the kids from the beginning.
Grandma and Grandpa are too old and Grandma has to take care of Grandpa.
Good luck taking care of three rambunctious children too.
Until they are all 18.
No skipping out early.

Government assistance. Enough said.

I just don't understand.

The only thing that is good about this is the children love their grandparents.
Emotionally, this will be great for them.
What these children don't understand is that because of this decision, they will be completely different people than they could have been.

I'm not the only one that is upset.
Everyone involved in the case that has actual contact with the children thinks this is ridiculous.
The caseworker, the CASA worker, the Guardian Ad Litem.
The committee that made this decision doesn't know these kids.
They don't know the grandparents.
They don't know all the sad and disgusting habits that were created by Grandma and Grandpa and that took months to break.
They don't seem to know that the 5 year old could only count to 4 when she came here.
That she didn't even know what the ABC's were.
How would she when the people around her don't speak English.
And the boys. Oh the boys. They were doing so poorly in school.
They have learned so much and their reading skills have improved tremendously.

It was just funny.
In court yesterday, the Guardian Ad Litem presented this decision to the judge.
Grandma and Grandpa have to move because currently they live in a small 2 bedroom apartment in elderly housing.
Assistance will need to be setup because Grandma and Grandpa will not be able to help the children with their homework because they can't speak English.
They don't have a car, nor can they drive.
All these things the GAL said to the judge, and the judge didn't even blink an eye.
While I'm sitting on my bench screaming on the inside.

But to put the icing on the cake, the kids requested that Grandma and Grandpa be moved (because you know, state housing and all) so that they can attend the same school and keep their friends.
And the judge ordered that the caseworker at least try.
Hey, I'm a big believer in freedom and stuff, but over my dead body will you be moving to my side of the valley.
Let me remind you that these kids are 11, 9 and 5.
They know where I live. They know how to get to my house.
And you think I'm going to have Grandma and Grandpa and all the other loser relatives and parents knowing where I live too?
We'll move.
Won't even hesitate for a second.
But isn't it ridiculous that my life will have to be uprooted for this idiotic decision?
Our saving grace will be that Grandma and Grandpa will say no.
That will make them farther away from their family.
Which means farther away from their interpreter and their access to a vehicle.
Plus, welfare isn't as prominent on this side of the valley. Which is their livelihood.

So I'm fuming.
If you can't tell.
It doesn't change anything for Mike and I.
We still don't want the kids.
And we still expect them to be moved by March 7th.
But just because I don't want them, doesn't mean that I wanted them to fail.
It doesn't mean that I wanted them to regress.
I still hoped for their future. And now it's gone.

They all say, "But they'll remember you".
I don't want them to remember me.
I want them to remember to wash their hands.
To save for college.
To do their homework.