Talking About Being Married, Mormon and Not Having Kids. And What We Are Planning On Doing About It.

I think I was destined to be a mother. Since as long as I can remember, that's really all I have ever wanted to do. Be a mom. I mean, how could I not want to be a mom after having the most wonderful childhood experience, greatly because of my mother? We were, and still are, her everything. I have dreamed of having that kind of love for my own children.

Being LDS (Mormon, Latter Day Saint, etc.), has instilled this passion in me even more. As Mormon women, we believe that is why we are put here on the earth. To rear children that will continue to grow and teach and build upon what they were taught.

So where does that leave me?

27 years old. College graduate. Married to a college graduate. Homeowner.

Doesn't it just seem like the next thing on the list should say mother? I totally agree. We have done everything that we needed to do before we have kids. And believe me, I've wanted kids since about 3 months into this marriage! But it just wasn't the right time.

So now onto the whole, what we are planning on doing about it part of the conversation. After much prayer and thought for the best way to bring children into our home, Mike and I have decided that we will be going through the certification process to become foster parents, and eventually to adopt through the foster care system.

I know, right?!

We are extremely excited to be taking this next step in our lives. Since we have made this decision, we have had some concern, some questions, and a lot of excitement from our families and friends.

Don't you want to have your own kids?

Absolutely. We do want to have our own. But its just not the right time. But one day, we will.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Yes. So if you have negative comments, please take them elsewhere.

Do you have any idea how hard its going to be?

No I don't. Because you don't know how hard its going to be until you actually experience it. But I have mentally prepared myself as much as I can. Mike's mom said it best when she said that yes, these kids will have problems because of the issues that they have had to deal with, but who says that your own biological children won't have problems? You never really know what you are going to get even if you give birth to them.

What ages will you be having in your home?

Originally, we had decided 10 years old and younger would be good. We are considering changing that to 5 years old and under. We haven't really made the decision, but will be making it shortly.

Do you feel ready to be a parent of a child? You will be missing out on the gradual development of the baby, which means also the gradual development of learning how to be a parent.

I do feel ready. I never assumed this would be easy. I never claimed I knew how to be a parent. I've spent my fair share around kids throughout my 27 years, but I don't claim to know it all. But I'm comfortable with myself. And my abilities. And if I have no clue what I'm doing, neither does any first time parent. So that's when I call my mom.

Isn't that going to be hard to have kids come into your home and then have to let them leave and go back to their birth parents?

Yes. And originally, we weren't planning on doing foster care and we were just going to adopt a child that is currently in the foster care system. I was guarding my emotions. I didn't want to have a child come into our home, and just when things are falling into place, have them go back to their birth parents. But then I remembered it wasn't about me. It's about these kids. These kids needs structure. They need support. And they need parents that can love them. And that is something that Mike and I can provide. Even if it may be only temporarily.

 

So, now what?

Well, now, we begin our 32 hours of training starting at the beginning of November. Once we have completed the training (which can be done within one month, but will probably take us two based on our schedules) and a background check, we have a homestudy. When that is complete we wait for a phone call. Once you agree to have a specific child in your home, they could be there within hours. Which means, our life will change within a matter of hours. And we are elated.

 

So there it is. We wondered if this was something that we wanted to share or if we wanted to keep this particular part of our lives private. But we decided that this will be such a big part of who we are, and we want to share our journey of becoming foster care parents in effort to help and inform others along the way.

 

We plan to share each step of the way, of course, while regarding the privacy of the children. If you have questions, advice or positive comments, we would love to hear to from you.