Two Weeks...

...ago today, our sweet baby boy left us. After what seemed like the longest 5 months (second longest, that first placement was a doozy), we dropped him off with another foster family. Mike and I cried the entire way there, while baby boy dozed off in the backseat. It was definitely one of the more emotional things we have experienced together in our marriage. The moment I took him out of his car seat in their driveway, I knew it might be the last snuggle I would get because once he was in their house, with new toys, and kids to play with, we were no longer on his radar. And let me be frank, it was awful. My heart still hurts thinking about the moment we tried to get our last hugs from him as he fought us and pushed us away because *new toy*!

And now is when you ask, well why did you let him go? Well the long story is that his uncle and aunt are supposed to be getting him. They are waiting on background checks that are taking forever because of some out of state history. But once those come back, assuming all is well, which we were told all is well with the uncle and aunt, then he should be moving to their home. Well then why didn't you keep him until then? Because our license expired at the end of February, and we weren't going to be renewing it. Hence, the in-between foster home.

The short story is because he never felt like ours.

I think about him every day. And in the morning I lay in bed so grateful to not have a 20 month old crying in his crib in the other room. And during the day, I miss not having my little annoying side kick to cry and whine at me. I try my hardest not to look at pictures of him but I can't help myself. Because he really was the cutest. It hurts. It really does. But there are no regrets. I know in my heart that this is how it was supposed to be. And eventually the heartache will wear off and he'll just be a memory.

Now a video. Because you gotta see this kid in action.

And now Abby and Mike are signed off forever as foster parents. Who knows what crazy adventure we'll come up with next.