It's Now Been A Week...

...since the kids have been gone.
At this point it almost feels like they were never here. I knew that would happen.

Saturday was weird.
The new foster family did not come pick them up until 3:00 that afternoon.
The night before, the boys slept over at a friends.
We spent the morning packing up.
And then some lunch at McDonald's.
And some goodbye's to some of our family members.

3:00 came and the new foster family pulled up.
We loaded up the cars with all their stuff.
It was so surreal.
The kids hopped in the cars before we got the chance to say a proper goodbye.

So here's the thing.
I may sound insensitive when I talk about not being attached to the kids.
But those kids, they were not at all attached to us either.
I had to get them out of the cars to even give them a hug.
I did notice perhaps that the 5 year old got a bit emotional once she realized what was actually happening.
But she's not a crier.
And there wasn't a tear shed. By any of us.
When they pulled away, and Mike and I walked into our empty house, my first words were,
"I'm so confused."

You see, even though I knew and expected everything that happened, I didn't know how to feel.
I did feel like I was holding back some tears.
Yet, I felt completely relieved.

Every day, at the end of the day, I do a self-evaluation.
I guess you could call it getting in touch with my feelings.
Do I miss kids?
Not just those kids, but do I miss having kids?
So far, I'm 7 out of 7 days of no.
I don't miss kids.

So our foster care license is active.
But we are on hold.
We have no idea how long we'll keep ourselves on hold. Or if we'll ever go off.
But for now, we are happy. And we are free.


  1. I really hope you guys open up the option of having kids again. Every experience will be different, I'm sure. Some will be much better than others. I just hope you get to experience the good of having kids!

  2. Just wanted to tell you that we had a very similar experience with our first placement a 2 yr old girl and a 1yr old boy. I had felt God leading me to foster for years and had finally convinced my husband.....after our first placement left I wanted to sell everything and had decided it wasn't for me. My husband said he would back me in what ever I chose but he thought we should try one more time but with one child.....We have 4 children of our own so I thought 2 would be very simple.....It is very different than having your own!!! We prayed about it and took things very slowly. We did some relief over the summer that helped us to decide that yes we still did feel that God was calling us to be involved in fostering. Usually kids come in sibling groups but we decided for the time being we would be willing to take 1....we realized that we may be empty for longer but we said when they had a need for 1 child we would be ready for them.In Sept. we opened our home to a 14mon old girl and we LOVED it. She only stayed for 2 weeks. Then in Nov. a 16mon old girl was welcomed into our home....She has been with us for 4 mons and we are having a blast. Having one child has also allowed us to continue to do relief care which we did recently for the 14mon old that we had for the 2 weeks. The girls are 4 days apart. We had 2 for 2weeks almost twins and while we had fun we were happy to get back to our 1.haha Just wanted to encourage you to give yourself time. Take things slow. God will lead you in His time. That is what I learned...