Day 5: Attachment/Separation/Grief/Loss

At our last foster care class, our instructor began by setting a timer. She didn't tell us how much time she set it for but when the timer went off, we were instructed to switch seats, and leave one thing behind. Then she set the timer again for an undisclosed amount of time. When the timer went off this time, we were instructed to switch seats and leave everything but one item behind. Once again, she set the timer. When the time expired we were instructed to leave everything, and switch seats. When we arrived at our new seat, she called out people by name and had them switch seats with each other. Mike was sent to the front of the room while I was left in the back. The guy that switched seats with Mike sat down and asked me if I could cook. Is that all that matters to you, dude? And yes, I did say that to his face. Okay, minus the dude part.

Was I uncomfortable? Extremely. And that was exactly the point. She separated me from my spouse, my things, my preferred spot on the third row, and left me vulnerable in the back of the room next to a man that only cares about food. And then she left us there while we watched this video...{speaking of food, grab a snack, it's a long one}
It just kills me. And yet, I love it so much. 

Attachment. Most children are attached to their biological parents. Therefore, we can assume that one of the most traumatic experiences a child can experience would be the loss of a parent. Many children seem to believe that they are somehow to blame for being separated from their parent only causing the expressions of grief to escalate. 

The two points of attachment are physical proximity and emotional. We most securely attach to people who "get it". As foster parents, we seek for that attachment while understanding that these children may have attachment difficulties resulting from prior attachment interruptions. Children know what they need to feel better. When they come to us in need, we must respond. 

Of the eight, I loved this class the most. 

And then it was over. I can't believe we've finished our 32 hours of training. I've been so enlightened and learned more than I could have ever expected to. Next step: home study!

{I promise that we do have a small semblance of a life outside of foster care. I just never seem to write about it. To summarize, Thanksgiving was great, I didn't shop at Target from Black Friday thru December 15 {wahoo!}, my Christmas tree is up and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, enter the best week of the year!}

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