Sometimes there are things in life that happen, and you wonder why they happen. Sometimes those things are things that are easy to laugh at. Other times you can't help but get upset. I was able to have the opportunity this weekend to see myself from the outside. I now understand why men think women are crazy. Because women are crazy. I saw myself go from happy and laughing, to sad and depressed, and then back to happy and laughing way too many times this weekend.
I hate drama. More than anything. If I sense a dramatic situation, I retreat. Which is why I find myself becoming more and more of a home body.
Yet, even when trying to avoid drama, I obviously am able to create my own by just being a girl and having a couple mood swings.
There are times that I think, Mike probably thinks I'm crazy.
Then I quickly remind myself that all women are crazy, so if it wasn't me he was married to, he would just be married to some other crazy person.
I try to be normal. I try to consciously think about what I am doing, while I am doing it, attempting to create fewer regrets. My blog name was chosen for that reason. Because it is the definition of me. I try to put all I have into everything that is important to me. I don't think striving for perfection is a negative thing.
I have heard many ex-Mormon's say that a reason they left the church is because they couldn't take the pressure of trying to be perfect. But shouldn't we all be striving to be perfect anyway, whether or not we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? We were placed here on this earth to be tested and tried. To show our Heavenly Father that we can overcome. That we can give all that we have to be with Him again.
You have to try. Jesus Christ has made up for the difference. But you still have to try. And some days, it's down right hard. And some days I just don't want to do it anymore. But then I remember why I chose Tainted Perfectionist as the title to represent me and my life. Because it's who I am. It's who we all are. Learning how to become just a small piece of what Jesus Christ was, and continues to be.
4.27.2012
What Today Is: {FridayFreeForAll}
It's Friday!
Unfortunately I don't find myself in a particularly peppy mood this morning.
But fortunatly, I have a video that may help with that. {Thanks to my sister who introduced this song to me a few years back.}
So like Ben says in The Family Stone, "You have a freak flag. You just don't fly it."
Wavin' Flag
K'NAAN
And don't forget...feel free to leave your own suggestions for the next FridayFreeForAll!
If you give suggestions, I will highlight you/your blog/and your video on next week's FridayFreeForAll...just make sure you give me all the details! {And you must be a follower.}
{Oh and all music videos must be appropriate. We are family friendly on this here blog.}
Unfortunately I don't find myself in a particularly peppy mood this morning.
But fortunatly, I have a video that may help with that. {Thanks to my sister who introduced this song to me a few years back.}
So like Ben says in The Family Stone, "You have a freak flag. You just don't fly it."
Wavin' Flag
K'NAAN
And don't forget...feel free to leave your own suggestions for the next FridayFreeForAll!
If you give suggestions, I will highlight you/your blog/and your video on next week's FridayFreeForAll...just make sure you give me all the details! {And you must be a follower.}
{Oh and all music videos must be appropriate. We are family friendly on this here blog.}
4.26.2012
4.25.2012
What Annoys Me: {The KnowItAlls, otherwise known as Advice Givers}
I've kinda been on one lately. I don't know what it is that makes this attitude of mine come out. But here is a current thought of mine.
I do not like when people tell me things I already know or give me advice that I did not ask for.
Here are several true to life examples that have either been said to me, or said to others around me.
"Being married is seriously the best." -Usually said to someone currently engaged.
{Well thank you. Because of course, until you told me that, I figured I was getting into something that would make me depressed beyond all misery. Why do you think I'm getting married? I don't need a confirmation from you to tell me that being married is great. I know this. Which is why I am doing it. Not because you told me it was "seriously the best".}
"You will love being a mom." -Usually said to someone currently pregnant.
{"I was so worried! I thought I would hate it! But now that you have told me I will love it, I am sure I will." Why do you think that they chose to have this child? Because they knew they would hate being a parent? Doubt it, friends, doubt it.} {Not a pregnancy announcement, btw.}
"When you have more experience, you will understand." -This one is Mike's, coming straight from the mouths of Law professors.
{Obviously. We pay the Law school thousands and thousands of dollars so Mike can be taught that no matter how much they teach him, he won't understand anything until he gets experience. It's a good thing that little piece of paper called a diploma means so much, otherwise I would be worried we were just donating money instead of actually paying for an education.}
"You follow all the rules with the first, and then after that, all the rules go out the window." -This one is referencing children, whether talking about pregnancy or talking about actually raising the kids.
{Just because you decided to be perfect with the first child/pregnancy, and break all the rules with the second, does not mean that everyone does that. You are trying to make yourself feel better. Just stop it. If I want to eat all fruits and veggies while I'm pregnant with my first, I will. That may or may not mean that I will do it again with my second, third, etc. I will do what I choose. Don't tell me how "busy" I'll be. So busy that I can't try as hard with the second as I did with the first. That's a fools game. And you are full of excuses.}
Guys. I have like a million and one more of these. And just writing this post as got me all revved up.
And all I'm saying is, don't give people advice that they didn't ask for. And don't rub your experiences in other peoples faces. It's annoying. Stop.
{I have a similar post that I wrote like this right before we moved to Oklahoma. You can read it here.}
I do not like when people tell me things I already know or give me advice that I did not ask for.
Here are several true to life examples that have either been said to me, or said to others around me.
"Being married is seriously the best." -Usually said to someone currently engaged.
{Well thank you. Because of course, until you told me that, I figured I was getting into something that would make me depressed beyond all misery. Why do you think I'm getting married? I don't need a confirmation from you to tell me that being married is great. I know this. Which is why I am doing it. Not because you told me it was "seriously the best".}
"You will love being a mom." -Usually said to someone currently pregnant.
{"I was so worried! I thought I would hate it! But now that you have told me I will love it, I am sure I will." Why do you think that they chose to have this child? Because they knew they would hate being a parent? Doubt it, friends, doubt it.} {Not a pregnancy announcement, btw.}
"When you have more experience, you will understand." -This one is Mike's, coming straight from the mouths of Law professors.
{Obviously. We pay the Law school thousands and thousands of dollars so Mike can be taught that no matter how much they teach him, he won't understand anything until he gets experience. It's a good thing that little piece of paper called a diploma means so much, otherwise I would be worried we were just donating money instead of actually paying for an education.}
"You follow all the rules with the first, and then after that, all the rules go out the window." -This one is referencing children, whether talking about pregnancy or talking about actually raising the kids.
{Just because you decided to be perfect with the first child/pregnancy, and break all the rules with the second, does not mean that everyone does that. You are trying to make yourself feel better. Just stop it. If I want to eat all fruits and veggies while I'm pregnant with my first, I will. That may or may not mean that I will do it again with my second, third, etc. I will do what I choose. Don't tell me how "busy" I'll be. So busy that I can't try as hard with the second as I did with the first. That's a fools game. And you are full of excuses.}
Guys. I have like a million and one more of these. And just writing this post as got me all revved up.
And all I'm saying is, don't give people advice that they didn't ask for. And don't rub your experiences in other peoples faces. It's annoying. Stop.
{I have a similar post that I wrote like this right before we moved to Oklahoma. You can read it here.}
4.24.2012
What I Appreciate: {Working}
I'm not a job person. I have never liked working. I don't want a career. I went to school and got an education because I knew that was the smart thing to do. I did not go to school and get an education so that I could help support a family. That's Mike's job. And he's completely okay with that. He wants to. And he wants me to stay home.
I have been asked many times, by many different people if I plan on sitting for the CPA exam. And I honestly considered it. I thought about returning to school to get my Masters in Accounting. I prayed and prayed about what to do.
Mike knows more than anyone, I'm not the most fun person when I am in school. I had to work really hard to get good grades in college. Therefore resulting in a stressed, wanna-rip-my-hair-out attitude. But suddenly, you graduate, and you forget all the bad stuff. I imagine it's quite like child labor. But after much prayer, and remembering what it was that I really wanted for myself and what we had always wanted together as a couple, I decided to not go back.
I have never once regretted that decision.
I consider myself successful. I don't need a CPA license to tell me that.
A few weeks ago at work, we had our annual reviews. I am known around the office as being "the favorite". I hate that term. I don't think I am the favorite. But I do know that I am quite the brown-noser. I like being liked. Of course I am going to do everything I need to do for my boss to like me.
{Picture Taken July 2009}
That being said, my review was first out of all the employees in the Accounting department. Annual reviews are scary. Like the feel-like-I'm-getting-up-to-bear-my-testimony feeling.
Immediately after walking in the room, I was put at ease.
"Well Abby, I have a really hard time coming up with things to criticize you about."
I was shocked. Coming out of this guys mouth, that is quite the compliment.
He continued to give me positive feedback throughout the entire review. I left feeling elated.
To accompany our annual review, we also receive our annual raise. Because the raise doesn't go into effect until the end of the month, I didn't think they would be giving me one. My last day is two weeks from today. I figured they would think there was no point because I would only have about a week and a half at the new rate.
Boy was I wrong.
I got a great raise. So much so that when I looked down at the paper, I didn't even see the correct number. My mind changed the numbers to what I thought it would be.
Yes, there was a double and triple check.
I love the company that I work for. And no, not just because they gave me a good raise to enjoy for a week and a half. But because it's just a good company. And a great job. I have learned so much from being in this position.
My boss was always the type to give as little information as possible. The entire year and a half that I worked there, I always complained about the poor communication. Why doesn't he just tell me what I need to know to do this project?? Because he was teaching me. I couldn't get past the frustration at the time to see that. I feel like I learned and retained more at this job than I did during my entire Bachelors degree.
I'm grateful for opportunities to work. Even though I hate work. Even though providing for us during a time when Mike needs me to is sometimes downright frustrating. Work gave me the opportunity to prove myself. To prove that I actually did learn something in college. To prove that I actually can contribute to the income of this family if I need to.
And even though I wish I could say this is my last job ever, it's not. We're on to a new city where I will be on to finding a new job. Where I will be learning something new, and proving even more that I am capable of these things. And when the day finally comes that I can quit my job and not have to find another, I can look back and be glad. Glad that I had the opportunity to be a working girl so that I can truly appreciate being home with our children.
I have been asked many times, by many different people if I plan on sitting for the CPA exam. And I honestly considered it. I thought about returning to school to get my Masters in Accounting. I prayed and prayed about what to do.
Mike knows more than anyone, I'm not the most fun person when I am in school. I had to work really hard to get good grades in college. Therefore resulting in a stressed, wanna-rip-my-hair-out attitude. But suddenly, you graduate, and you forget all the bad stuff. I imagine it's quite like child labor. But after much prayer, and remembering what it was that I really wanted for myself and what we had always wanted together as a couple, I decided to not go back.
I have never once regretted that decision.
I consider myself successful. I don't need a CPA license to tell me that.
A few weeks ago at work, we had our annual reviews. I am known around the office as being "the favorite". I hate that term. I don't think I am the favorite. But I do know that I am quite the brown-noser. I like being liked. Of course I am going to do everything I need to do for my boss to like me.
That being said, my review was first out of all the employees in the Accounting department. Annual reviews are scary. Like the feel-like-I'm-getting-up-to-bear-my-testimony feeling.
Immediately after walking in the room, I was put at ease.
"Well Abby, I have a really hard time coming up with things to criticize you about."
I was shocked. Coming out of this guys mouth, that is quite the compliment.
He continued to give me positive feedback throughout the entire review. I left feeling elated.
To accompany our annual review, we also receive our annual raise. Because the raise doesn't go into effect until the end of the month, I didn't think they would be giving me one. My last day is two weeks from today. I figured they would think there was no point because I would only have about a week and a half at the new rate.
Boy was I wrong.
I got a great raise. So much so that when I looked down at the paper, I didn't even see the correct number. My mind changed the numbers to what I thought it would be.
Yes, there was a double and triple check.
I love the company that I work for. And no, not just because they gave me a good raise to enjoy for a week and a half. But because it's just a good company. And a great job. I have learned so much from being in this position.
My boss was always the type to give as little information as possible. The entire year and a half that I worked there, I always complained about the poor communication. Why doesn't he just tell me what I need to know to do this project?? Because he was teaching me. I couldn't get past the frustration at the time to see that. I feel like I learned and retained more at this job than I did during my entire Bachelors degree.
I'm grateful for opportunities to work. Even though I hate work. Even though providing for us during a time when Mike needs me to is sometimes downright frustrating. Work gave me the opportunity to prove myself. To prove that I actually did learn something in college. To prove that I actually can contribute to the income of this family if I need to.
And even though I wish I could say this is my last job ever, it's not. We're on to a new city where I will be on to finding a new job. Where I will be learning something new, and proving even more that I am capable of these things. And when the day finally comes that I can quit my job and not have to find another, I can look back and be glad. Glad that I had the opportunity to be a working girl so that I can truly appreciate being home with our children.
4.23.2012
What I Sold: {Piano
Remember my piano?
Well I had to part with it this weekend. It was time, you know, moving and such.
Well I had to part with it this weekend. It was time, you know, moving and such.
This is how I say goodbye...
4.20.2012
What Today Is: {FridayFreeForAll}
So, besides the fact that I guess Blogger finally forced this new dashboard format, today is a great day! I love Fridays! I'm looking toward {note the word is toward, not forward to} a weekend full of the husband studying hardcore for finals. Which means guess who's going to be packing? Yep, it's going to officially start this weekend. And when you're excited to move, packing really isn't so bad.
Oh and the husband just seconds ago received 34 pounds of prep material for the bar course. 34 pounds! I swear this studying thing will never end.
In celebration of the weekend, I present you with the FridayFreeForAll. Because what's a weekend without a little music.
And my favorite song of all time?
Yes, OF ALL TIME. {bold statement, I know}
Africa
Toto
And don't forget...feel free to leave your own suggestions for the next FridayFreeForAll!
If you give suggestions, I will highlight you/your blog/and your video on next week's FridayFreeForAll...just make sure you give me all the details! {And you must be a follower.}
{Oh and all music videos must be appropriate. We are family friendly on this here blog.}
4.19.2012
What We Tried: {OK Bucket List-Blue Bell Ice Cream}
Let it be known that I have a bucket list.
There is also a Oklahoma specific bucket list.
We were able to cross something off a couple weekends ago.
Eat Blue Bell Ice Cream.
-1.jpg)
Its some big name brand ice cream out here, that is super expensive. That 1/2 gallon container that I'm holding is regular price $6.00. {$6.00!!}
It went on sale so I figured that was my chance.
Picking a flavor was tough. But give me peanut butter and chocolate and I'm usually one happy chica.
The verdict?
Totally not worth the money.
I would pick Great Value over Blue Bell any day, even if they were the same price.
Why?
It wasn't creamy. It tasted like they made it with fat-free milk. If I'm going to eat the calories, I want it to at least taste like I'm eating the calories. Am I right or am I right?
But crossing something off the list always feels good, doesn't it?
There is also a Oklahoma specific bucket list.
We were able to cross something off a couple weekends ago.
-1.jpg)
It went on sale so I figured that was my chance.
Picking a flavor was tough. But give me peanut butter and chocolate and I'm usually one happy chica.
The verdict?
Totally not worth the money.
I would pick Great Value over Blue Bell any day, even if they were the same price.
Why?
It wasn't creamy. It tasted like they made it with fat-free milk. If I'm going to eat the calories, I want it to at least taste like I'm eating the calories. Am I right or am I right?
But crossing something off the list always feels good, doesn't it?
4.18.2012
What I Thought About: {Utah}
Six years ago if you would have asked me if I would ever live outside of Utah, I would have laughed in your face. Never. No way. I didn't have any desire to leave my safe bubble. I enjoy being surrounded by family. Mike's family and my own family are my best friends. I love the mountains. I love being surrounded by people of my own faith. I love being surrounded by what I know. The streets, the cities. I feel safe there. I feel safe because those are the things and places that I know. I just wanted to be 'normal'.
Mike was not the same way. He wanted adventure. He wanted to try new things, and see new places. When we were dating, he would talk of going to school far, far away. I never really took it seriously. That was the single Mike talking. I thought when we got married, he would sink into the 'settled down' life.
Even after we got married we argued about it. {Don't worry, this was healthy arguing.} I would cry. I didn't want to leave Utah. Why can't we just be 'normal'? We began to understand the being married thing a little bit more. It's about compromise. It's about sacrifices. We were both in school at that time, so moving was not an option. But then our Bachelors degrees drew to a close. We had to start making decisions.
Mike picked Law School. Which there are two of in Utah. He applied to 10 schools. Including those in Utah. And that darn kid got into all of them. Then we had to decide. Some were easy to cross of the list. Some, a little more difficult. We ended up with a top three. One of the Utah schools made the cut. However, after much thought and prayer, Mike and I came to the conclusion, that even though the Utah school made the most sense, it's not where we were supposed to be.
Hence, why we currently reside in Oklahoma.
There have been times of wonder. Why here? Why did the Lord want us here? I'm still not really sure I know the answer to that question. Sometimes we think things would have been easier in Utah.
Do you know how hard it is to find a job in a state when you currently don't reside in that state? Hard. Nearly impossible. Especially when the legal job market is crap as it is.
We want to live in Utah. We love Utah. We love our families. We love the mountains. We love the feeling of home. But for some reason, we continue to take the scenic route getting back there. A three year law degree has turned into a Summer in DC which has turned into additional education, once again outside of Utah {more news on that to come}.
I've heard it said before that if you leave, it's hard to go back. I never truly understood that until now. It doesn't mean it will be hard to go back because you won't want to {well for some it may}. It means that its difficult to find the opportunity to go back.
We continue to look for that opportunity. We continue to pray for that opportunity.
But those student loans come due, whether your working or not, so you have to go where the job is. Or for us, just go to more school. No professional students here. Just two people who think that in order to get somewhere in the world, you have to rise above the average.
You wanna know what prompted this post?
It may seem funny to some. Actually when Mike and I saw this ad, we laughed. But honestly, it's not so funny to me anymore. Because that's where we're trying to get back to.
So we'll continue to look. And continue to pray. The opportunity will come. Trust in the Lord's timing, right?
Mike was not the same way. He wanted adventure. He wanted to try new things, and see new places. When we were dating, he would talk of going to school far, far away. I never really took it seriously. That was the single Mike talking. I thought when we got married, he would sink into the 'settled down' life.
Even after we got married we argued about it. {Don't worry, this was healthy arguing.} I would cry. I didn't want to leave Utah. Why can't we just be 'normal'? We began to understand the being married thing a little bit more. It's about compromise. It's about sacrifices. We were both in school at that time, so moving was not an option. But then our Bachelors degrees drew to a close. We had to start making decisions.
Mike picked Law School. Which there are two of in Utah. He applied to 10 schools. Including those in Utah. And that darn kid got into all of them. Then we had to decide. Some were easy to cross of the list. Some, a little more difficult. We ended up with a top three. One of the Utah schools made the cut. However, after much thought and prayer, Mike and I came to the conclusion, that even though the Utah school made the most sense, it's not where we were supposed to be.
Hence, why we currently reside in Oklahoma.
There have been times of wonder. Why here? Why did the Lord want us here? I'm still not really sure I know the answer to that question. Sometimes we think things would have been easier in Utah.
Do you know how hard it is to find a job in a state when you currently don't reside in that state? Hard. Nearly impossible. Especially when the legal job market is crap as it is.
We want to live in Utah. We love Utah. We love our families. We love the mountains. We love the feeling of home. But for some reason, we continue to take the scenic route getting back there. A three year law degree has turned into a Summer in DC which has turned into additional education, once again outside of Utah {more news on that to come}.
I've heard it said before that if you leave, it's hard to go back. I never truly understood that until now. It doesn't mean it will be hard to go back because you won't want to {well for some it may}. It means that its difficult to find the opportunity to go back.
We continue to look for that opportunity. We continue to pray for that opportunity.
But those student loans come due, whether your working or not, so you have to go where the job is. Or for us, just go to more school. No professional students here. Just two people who think that in order to get somewhere in the world, you have to rise above the average.
You wanna know what prompted this post?
So we'll continue to look. And continue to pray. The opportunity will come. Trust in the Lord's timing, right?
4.17.2012
What We Ate: {Avocado Basil Pasta}
Did I ever tell you how much I loooovve food?
Well I do.
Side note: Mike found a delicious looking recipe on Pinterest a little while ago, and as I was planning the menu for this week, I decided to make it. Bought all the ingredients. Two days {two days!} after looking at this recipe, I get online so that I can make it and this girl has privatized her blog! Two days! Such bad timing.
Unrelated side note: Just started using this Instagram thing. Still figuring it out a bit, and trying to remember that I have it so that I will actually take pictures. Follow me at abbys14.
Today's recipe plain and simple.....rocks. {Except for maybe my over-enthusiasm when adding the basil}. Mike says the leftovers weren't that awesome though. More of a 'day of' meal. But its so so good the day of. I promise.
-1.jpg)
Avocado Basil Pasta
The Stuff:
8 ounces dried bow tie pasta
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
The Doing:
Well I do.
Side note: Mike found a delicious looking recipe on Pinterest a little while ago, and as I was planning the menu for this week, I decided to make it. Bought all the ingredients. Two days {two days!} after looking at this recipe, I get online so that I can make it and this girl has privatized her blog! Two days! Such bad timing.
Unrelated side note: Just started using this Instagram thing. Still figuring it out a bit, and trying to remember that I have it so that I will actually take pictures. Follow me at abbys14.
Today's recipe plain and simple.....rocks. {Except for maybe my over-enthusiasm when adding the basil}. Mike says the leftovers weren't that awesome though. More of a 'day of' meal. But its so so good the day of. I promise.
-1.jpg)
Avocado Basil Pasta
The Stuff:
8 ounces dried bow tie pasta
2 medium avocados, halved, seeded, peeled, and coarsely chopped
6 slices turkey bacon, crisp cooked, and crumbled
6 slices turkey bacon, crisp cooked, and crumbled
2 tbsp dried basil
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/8 teaspoon salt
The Doing:
Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain. Meanwhile, in a large bowl combine the avocados, bacon, basil, lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, pepper, and salt. Add the hot pasta and toss to combine.
Super easy, right?
Super easy, right?
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