Biological Folk

Here's the thing about biological parents.

In the beginning, when we originally decided to become foster parents, I thought I had my mind made up about them. You know, the whole, you should never have become a parent because you suck at it and got your children taken away attitude.

Then I went through the training classes, and our fantastic instructor was able to alter my thoughts and prejudgments. Biological parents are simply people who have made some mistakes, and its partially our duty as foster parents to help them fix those mistakes so that they can get their children back.

Okay, so now I'm a foster parent. Which means I now have the knowledge that I need to make my own decision regarding biological parents (or at least the ones I currently deal with). So what do I think? Well, they kinda suck. Which is sad and terrifying because their children think the world of them (well mostly, the older children seem to have a quite a few biases against one of the parents). One of the parents had reached out saying they wanted to have a visitation. This parent has yet to have had one in the two months that the children have been in foster care. All this parent needed to do was to call and confirm with the caseworker. That's it. And this parent didn't. So now after telling them all week they have a visitation today, I now get to tell them that they don't. Because apparently making a simple phone call was too much for the children that you gave life. Biological parent, you were the one that reached out. Perhaps you should keep your promises and maybe your older children wouldn't hate you (the word isn't mine, the kids were the ones that said it). The other biological parent used to have visits and currently does not. And I may be evil for saying it, but I'm glad. It's so hard to watch the kids go to these visits where they are showered with toys, and treats, and the near worship that goes on when you know what a loser their parent is. As much as I want the kids to be with their parents and families, it is so disappointing to know that they may turn out to be just like them.

Yes, my influence of a few months may do some good, but if foster care has taught me anything, the number one thing I have learned is that you can't undo years of bad habits. In the end, these kids don't want to be here, and their old ways are how they can hold onto their family and their home.