Foster Care Has Caused An Early Midlife Crisis.

Therefore, I'm now a blonde in an effort to test out the theory "Blonde's have more fun"...

Plus, I've always wanted to try being blonde. So bucket list item, check!

A Newborn

I became an aunt again. And what a sweet baby he his. Welcome to the family, Baby Austin. We love you to pieces already.

And in a few days, Mike's sister-in-law will be having a baby boy too!

Two nephews in one month. A lucky aunt indeed.

Surprise AKA I Shouldn't Be Surprised

The night before he was supposed to be moved, the uncle called the caseworker and said he would no longer be taking him. Because he was going to be starting school and because his wife is bipolar and wasn't taking her meds.

Oh geez.

So Dear Uncle, A week ago when you said that you would take him, were the circumstances any different? No. You knew that you would be starting school. And I'm sure a week ago your wife wasn't taking her meds. So next time you think you might want to make a decision that affects more than just yourself, can you keep your mouth shut until you've decided for sure? You know, like the, Is That Your Final Answer, kind of stuff?

And the icing on the cake?

Two weeks ago we show up for a visitation with mom and she doesn't show. We find out later that she didn't make it because she "wasn't feeling up to it". Then last week as we were about to walk out the door for visitation with mom, I got a call from the caseworker telling me that the visitation is canceled because mom had "to go pick up medication". So if she actually shows up to visitation this week, it will have been three weeks since she has since her little boy. When the GAL already has all her cards against you and is trying to get rights terminated, the last thing you want to do is to not show up to visitation for two weeks in a row with those kinds of excuses. But I guess that's why your kid is in foster care.

We still have no idea how this case will turn out or how long. Just taking it day by day and spending a lot of evenings at my sweet friend's house. Working, or dancing, or singing or talking. Just enough to keep me sane. Love you Brit!

Well Truth Be Told, I'm Still Just Not Loving It.

How strange to think this beautiful little 16 month old boy continues to melt the hearts of everyone around him except for mine. I told my mother-in-law that I must have no heart. She tells me I'm being too hard on myself but I'm not so sure. Our last placement just burned me. Three school aged kids. Two boys that fought non-stop. And I just wasn't ready to be a mom of three. Flash forward, and this placement should be a breeze. An adorable 16 month old that can be whiny at times, but other than that is such a good little boy. Today I held him before laying him down for a nap, and I looked into his dark eyes and gave him a big kiss and apologized to him for not wanting to keep him forever. As I lay him in his crib, he gave me a smile. So tired and so happy to finally be in his bed. And I walked away and thought, there is seriously something wrong with me. How can I not love him? How can I not be wrapped around his little finger?

We got word that he may be leaving us this week. There is an uncle that has come forward that wants him. I'm ashamed to say that I cheered a bit when I found out. Not that my opinion matters when it comes to kinship, but he's better off there. I've done a bit of my own investigating on Facebook and he seems like a great option for this little boy. If he can't be with his mom right now, then his uncle is the next best thing.

But of course, communication is always so terrible when it comes to the GAL and DCFS and the foster parents, so I'm not quite sure when and how things will actually come to an end.

But Mike and I have officially decided that this is it for us and foster care. Our license is up in February and we plan to let it expire. It's hard knowing that something that you were so excited for and did so much work for is now coming to an end. And I truly wish it was a happier ending for us. But I guess it just wasn't part of the plan.

But on a much more adorable note, I'll leave you with a photo of our little Charlie Brown.